I was listening to this fantastic lecture by Marisa Peer (Britain's #1 hypnotherapist) last week and she mentioned something really interesting. She talked about this idea of 'looping thoughts' and how what we think, affects how we feel, act and what happens in our life.
E.g. Say that you think negative thoughts like, "I'm terrible at remembering things. I am so forgetful." This thought will make you feel bad about yourself and maybe even helpless or hopeless. As a result, your defeatist attitude leads you to take the same actions as before and you continue to forget things. Then the cycle repeats itself over and over.
But what if you changed your thoughts to more positive and encouraging ones that can lead to a proactive approach that makes you feel more empowered?
E.g. This time, you take your belief that you are forgetful and say to yourself, "I have an excellent memory! I am great at remembering appointments and anything else I need!" You'd likely feel pretty empowered and good about yourself, right? You might feel inspired to take action and make some positive changes. Maybe you make reminders on your phone, invest in a new diary, or make a checklist on the fridge. As you work on finding new ways to support your memory, you end up remembering more and so the positive cycle continues.
I like the looping thoughts explanation because it puts things into perspective and shows what a little encouragement from within can really do.
You can even use this technique when trying a new skill:
I just started pottery this year and the first class I went to was a really great opportunity to practice this approach. I sat down at the wheel after the teacher gave a demonstration and I literally forgot everything she just told us! I thought, "Oh no, what on earth was step 1 and 2? This is way harder than it looks." I picked up on my negative thoughts and changed them to something more encouraging like, "I can do this. There's a lot of steps but I if I get stuck I can just ask for help. I'm sure I'll get it in no time but these things take practice." I started to feel more optimistic, happy, focused and determined and after a few classes I did get the hang of it!
Regardless of what you have told yourself in the past, you are absolutely capable of doing amazing things in life and you need to start believing in yourself. Even if your parents and friends shower you with compliments, they won't ever sink in, unless you believe them wholeheartedly first.
As we change our thoughts, we begin to change our behaviours and ultimately, the outcome.
Love, Jess x